Date of Award


Document Type

Open Access

Degree Name

Bachelor of Arts


Visual Arts

First Advisor

Fernando Orellana




growth, self perception, discovery, anxiety


As I Am, Changing is a series of videos and paintings that explores growth, and how it is attained. The longing to change can degenerate into an anxiety‐driven obsession, manifested in the body turning against itself. Perception is filtered by obsession, which distorts true understanding of the self and others. Lasting transformation is often caused by indirect forces; a random discovery may outweigh a multitude of deliberate attempts. Some change, like the seasons, can only happen in its own time. I am exploring this universal experience through the means of self‐portraiture. While a typical self‐portrait focuses on the face, my self‐portraits focus on my whole person, the self as regarded by the ancient Psalmists as a person's thoughts, feelings, will, body, and social relations, all held together by the soul. The integration of various forms of expression —poetry, performance and painting—reflects this multilayered understanding of the self. The making of these works involved obscuring and exposing layers of image and text. This process of covering and unveiling mimics the changing of the seasons. As I Am, Changing depicts the struggle to change in the soul, as manifested in the body and articulated in poetry.